An adjective meaning 'askew, crooked, or out of place.'

Saturday, Jan. 30, 2010

So a fairly recent paleological discovery and a word my countrified family sometimes uses are, in fact, connected.

Who knew?

The search began when it was discovered that a co-worker and I both have a word in our vocabulary that means, as this post's title suggests, "askew, crooked, and out of place."

But somehow, as we learned this word, we learned it differently. She learned it "skewampus" while I was raised to use the elocution "cattywompus."

I maintained to her that my inherited colloquialism was the correct one, and her family has been in error for untold generations. As it happens, we're both half right. Of course, my half is bigger.

After hours of research, I found this Atlantic Monthly article which almost completely validates my position. It was an article on the word itself -- the author, J.E. Lighter, uses the spelling "catawampus" -- and other references to cats in American slang:

Paleontologists in Florida recently announced the discovery of a new species of saber-toothed cat-the third such cat known to have lived in North America. The cat in question, unearthed from a sinkhole, is a million-year-old specimen that was built like a bear and was capable of reducing wild peccaries (among whose fossilized bones it was found) to Meow Mix quicker'n scat, as old-timers might put it. The new species does not yet have a name. Some might be disposed to regard it as a wampus cat, a hitherto fanciful member of the wildcat clan, to which campers attribute mysterious nocturnal growls and thuds. The inspiration for wampus cat seems to be catawampus, an old term for a remarkable or unruly individual, and, strange to say, originally an adverb similar in meaning to catty- (or kitty- or cater-) cornered.

The 2007 Leesville High School Wampus Cats.

The species, by the way, was since named Xenosmilus. If the allegations that this is the legendary "Wampus Cat" are true, then it is the mascot of at least one high school football team.

This is not the first workday dispute over the elusive catawampus. Another Internet linguist has been over this ground already, but my estimable colleague decided not to believe that "Today "catercorner" means that two things are diagonally across from each other. The 'wampus' part may have come from the Scots word 'wampish,' meaning 'to wriggle or twist,' which would certainly seem to fit with 'catawampus' meaning 'askew' or 'crooked.'" There is also a long and informative forum thread, which also features a Kansas synonym for "catercorner:" antigoggle.

Antigoggle. Holy shit.

But wait a tick -- I never knew about the catawampus, a mythical creature from American folklore, also referred to as the catamount, meaning mountain lion.

Since New York University cut off my access to J-Stor, my ability to instamagically research the beast has been limited. But in a scrap of writing submitted to The American Naturalist, "Notes of a Fur Hunter" (Feb. 1868, Vol. 1, No. 12), a seasoned hunter from the forested Maine back-o-beyond describes the catamount as a panther -- but despite the familiar name, he echoes the breathless tone of others who have come close but not quite encountered the beast:

I never saw a Panther, or Catamount. One night I found a deer bitten through the back. There were many tracks (not of deer) right about him, but I could not find any leading off from the spot. I think the beast jumped onto the deer from a tree. I heard his shrill screech, like that of a woman in distress. I heard the same screech and saw the same track again not far off. I think the animal was a catamount.

An editor's note describes the hunter, Henry Clapp, as "a man of life-long experience" from the mountainous regions of Piscataquis county. If anybody was going to get close to the North American catamount, it would be this guy.

He's close enough for me. With apologies to my co-worker, I must claim victory: "skewampus" is clearly a bastardization of catawampus.

I think the real winner, though, is whoever came up with the word "antigoggles."

Suck it, eyewear.